


In The Dark

by alyssa146



Category: Supernatural RPF
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Anxiety, Blood and Violence, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Dark Jensen Ackles, Depression, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, God I love Dark Jensen, Hospitals, Hurt Jared Padalecki, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Jealous Jensen Ackles, M/M, Mental Health Issues, Protective Jensen, Self-Esteem Issues, Serial Killer Jensen, Serial Killers, Suicide Attempt, Top Jensen Ackles, Triggers, Young Jared Padalecki, mental health, mentions of self harm, only read if your ok with a warped mind, the happy ending is happy maybe not for everyone, will see
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-04
Updated: 2019-09-01
Packaged: 2020-06-03 18:16:51
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 14
Words: 20,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19469467
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alyssa146/pseuds/alyssa146
Summary: Jensen Ackles is young when he finds his calling. Jensen is 12 when he uses that calling to cause harm. Jensen is 16 when he decides that instead of helping people he is going to hurt people. Jensen is 32 when he meets 21 year old depressed ridden Jared Padalecki and everything changes.





	1. Meeting 1

**Author's Note:**

> I know this first chapter is short just wanted to get a feel for it. I'm really on a dark Jensen kick lately and I cant help it. Sorry not sorry.

When Jensen was 10 he found his talent. His mom told him he was good at listening to people, that he easily understood how people felt. She didn't know he was even better at manipulation. Growing up Jensen was rather misunderstood but he was never bullied. His friend Jack was however by an older kid named Colby. One afternoon Jensen had corned him in the woods on the walk home and somehow by the end of the meet Colby was lying face down after bashing his own head in.

And so Jensen found his hobby.

When he was 16 he decided to be a psychologist. On some level he knew it was wrong but he found joy at watching people spill their problems and not being able to fix them. Having them off themselves also added a certain thrill. His clients were usually so far gone it took little work. He was never suspected. Why would he be? He never touched them. He’s 32 years old, he guesses he would call himself a serial killer, if you wanted to put a term on it.

Not to brag but his gotten over 25 people to off themselves. Its always the same. Your not worth it, why are you here? No one loves you. And it always worked. Jensen had his own office and after a couple visits he would suggest a home visit. So he could get a look into their personal lives and that's where he would go for the kill. Everything was great.

Until Jared.

Jared is 21 and a fresh baby faced college student ridden with anxiety and clinical depression. His dad when he was 16 for another woman and it tore him up. Not to mention the abusive relationship he threw himself into right after that didn't help. Honestly the boy is falling apart. After reading over his file he cant help but think how easy this will be. 

And then he walks into his office.

His dimpled cheeks are flushed, no doubt from nerves. His messy hair is hanging over his multicolored almond shaped eyes that are framed by thick lashes. He licks his pink lips and smiles bashfully as Jensen stands next to his desk with his mouth open.

The boy clears his throat and ducks his head, his hair blocking his eyes “Hi I...I’m Jared. We talked on the phone last week?”

Jensen blinks and shakes his head “Jared, right...well um...I’m Jensen--sit.” Jared sits on the leather couch and bites his lip as he looks around and shakes as he gets himself comfy. 

“Your nervous, don't be I’m here for you, to help you.”

Jared relaxes his shoulders and gives him a mind blowing smile that makes him lean back in his chair “sorry I’m new to this I mean I’ve never really talked to anyone about my problems before, well besides my mom and best friends.”

Jensen smiles “its ok lets just talk about you. Tell me about yourself.”

Jared takes a breath “well I’m 21 years old and I’m a junior at Charleston. I’m majoring in Anthropology--”

Jensen cocks his head in interest and moves forward in his desk chair “you like bones?”

A breathless laugh leaves Jared’s lips “I know its weird but I want to be a criminal anthropologist you know examining dead bodies, finding the bad guys. Bones is my favorite TV show, it gave me inspiration I've been watching it for so long, I would like to be as half as brave as her.”

Jensen raises a brow and lowers his pen slowly and turns his head “I believe, Jared everyone is bad in their own way its something lurking inside of you, everyone has a guilty pleasure Jared. Its ok to indulge in it.”

Jared gulps, his Adams apple bobbing and blinks rapidly and Jensen knows he made him nervous “so...tell me more.”

He did.

Jared’s from Florida, he hates it but he’s drawn to the weather that's why he chose Charleston. He has an older brother named Jeff and a younger sister named Megan. He has two dogs Sadie and Harley and they both stay with him in his apartment he shares with his best friends Chad and Sandy. He hasn't seen his dad since the day he left though he has tried to call but Jared just cant pick up the phone. His brother is a doctor and his sister is a freshman at Florida University and she loves it, she wants to be a lawyer. He works at the museum downtown and volunteers at the shelter with Sandy, her mom owns it. 

All in all he’s the best person Jensen's ever met.

Jared leaves with the promise of returning next Tuesday and Jensen shuts the door and sinks to the ground with a rush of relief. 

Usually he would begin plotting his next stages, making a mental blue print of how he wanted it to work out after he assessed the client. But this time all he wants to do his coddle Jared, protect him, help him. Jared’s hurting its plain to see and it makes him want to track his father down and rip him apart with his bare hands. He stands up and runs his fingers through his hair and shakes his head. He needs to snap out of it, he couldn't let this boy change him. 

Jared comes back the next Tuesday with tired, puffy eyes and a pale face, his hair slightly parted down the middle and a little lifeless and the whole scene has Jensen concerned and he dosen't even know this kid. His only met this kid once, only spoke to him for an hour so why was he so concerned? Why did he care? 

“Rough night?”

Jared snorts and smiles weakly and scratches at his head as he sinks on the couch and sighs “rough week more like it.”

“Tell me about it.”

Once Jared realizes it wasn't a sarcastic statement but a genuine question he sat up straight and spewed out all of his problems “its mostly school, I’m trying to land an internship in the anthropology section of the museum with this forensic anthropologist and its stressing me out. Apparently he's really tough to get in with and stresses the other interns out but it will look really good on my application for grad school. Plus my dad called again. That's the second time in a month. ”

Jensen pauses writing and looks up with curious eyes “and did you answer?” he asks, his pen poised.

“No...sometimes I want to but I cant. It hurts to much to see his name flash across the screen. He really hurt me. You know I’m the one that found him with the other woman? He left that day...Jeff said he married her. He left us...for her. Whats so special about her?”

Jared sniffs and wipes his face and turns his head, his tears shining in the dim light of the room and it makes Jensen's shoulders drop “any other therapist would make you face this, to answer the phone and hear him out but I wont. don't answer if you cant.”

Jared gives him a shaky smile, tears slipping down his cheeks as he looks at Jensen, green and blue shining through and it makes Jensen feel woozy “thank you.”

Oh he’s so far gone.


	2. Monster in the Dark

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY FOURTH! I hope everyone has a great day celebrating our independence! 
> 
> Chapter could be a trigger chapter read with care.

He’s been seeing Jared for a month now and has him on daily doses of Prozac and xanax to help elevate his mood and control his anxiety and to help him sleep more soundly and it seems to be helping. 

Its around the time he would suggest a private visit and he tries to control it, to keep it in because he dosen't want Jared to be another fatality but he blurts it out anyway, like word vomit. 

“I like to do private sessions. I like to visit the patients home and get a feel for their environment and try to find any disruptions. I find it helps both me and the client form a better bond.”

As soon as it comes out he wants to take it all back. He dosen't want to hurt Jared he might be able to control himself and he prays Jared says no.

Jared blinks and purses his lips as he picks at his fingers “Well I live with my friends so they shouldn't be there right?”

Yes. 

“No its private.”

Jared nods “well is Friday ok? Chad has a date and more than likely he wont be back till late and Sandy will be at her boyfriends so...I can cook if you like?”

Jensen clears his throat “that works fine...but you don't have to cook--”

Jared waves his hand “no its fine I don't get to much, don't have time and I really enjoy so I’d like to. Is eight ok?”

Jensen nods silently and Jared gives him a blinding smile and stands and carefully picks up his coat and slips it on “ok then, thank you for listening to me today Jensen I’ll see you Friday.”

Jensen opens his mouth to reply but nothing comes out and he ends up watching Jared leave with a happy smile and he sighs and bangs his head on his desk. Maybe he’ll be sick by Friday.

He isn't. 

He’s sweating all over when he makes it to Jared's apartment door. He didn't want to come, tried to come up with a thousand excuses why he shouldn't but Jared's innocence called to him and he had to see him. He straightens his button shirt and cracks his neck before knocking on the door hesitantly and steps back as it flies open and Jared stands there in a soft shirt and dark jeans, his dogs at his feet.

He smiles and waves Jensen in and he follows Jared and the wonderful aroma coming from the kitchen “smells great in here.”

Jared smiles over his shoulder and pulls out a bottle of wine from the fridge “its my mothers famous secret spaghetti.”

Jensen watches as the white acid splashes in his wine glass and slides his eyes up to look at Jared “whats the secret?”

Jared raises a brow and bites his lip as a smile pops up, his cute, slightly crooked teeth gnawing at the pink skin as he bends down and holds up a bottle of bloody Mary mix “gives it a little kick.”

Jensen leans over and looks in the pot “can I taste?”

Jared's face turns red and he dips the laddle into the pot and shakily holds it out as Jensen leans forward, eyes locked on Jared’s, and licks at the spoon.

He smacks his lips and hums “that's the best thing I’ve ever tasted.”

Jared smiles bashfully and blushes as he tucks his hair back “well its done so its about to get even better.”

Jensen watches from the table as Jared plates the food and he falters. He came here tonight filled with regret but a plan. Jared had a strong front but he had to be the most broken out of his clients, an easy target. But as he watched Jared smile at him he knew he couldn't do it. He was different. 

So they ate and he took on the role of Doctor as he carefully explored the apartment and listened to him talk about his friends and describe the pictures on the shelves. 

They drank wine and listened to music and ended up watching Jared's favorite movie. Sleeping With The Enemy.

Jensen shifted uneasily as Julia Roberts was thrown around back and forth by her abusive ex husband and he couldn't help but compare.

His passion for Jared was growing and getting stronger everyday. He had never been in love before, had never really felt anything but hate and terrible thoughts. And Jared was so trusting, and sweet, and young and Jensen wanted to eat him alive. 

When Jensen gets home he’s sweating and shaking with tension and with drawl as he tries to choke down his desperate desire. Deep inside he wanted to hurt Jared, to watch him bleed but he couldn't, not to Jared. 

But the need to kill ate at him, his fists clenching in anger and his lips curling as he bends down and hurls a glass across the room and watches it shatter as it hits the wall. He whips his coat on and slams the door and makes his way to the dive bar down the street. He slams his hand on the table and orders a whiskey double and tosses it back in one gulp and hisses.

He’s about the order another when a laugh breaks out and Jensen turns towards it and spots a woman in the back with yellow hair and he cocks his head at her and ends up looking past her, his eyes narrowing dangerously as he spots his target. A young girl wit black hair and a sad look sits alone at a table.

He stands and makes his way over and gives her a charming smile “your looking pretty lonely mind if I keep you company?”

The girl smiles at him and nods “no that's fine...I’m Lacey.”

Jensen gives her a chilling smile “Mark.”

An hour and four drinks later he watches as she stumble out to the back alley as he promises to help her home his demeanor changing and his eyes turning deadly as she stumble into a wall, her eyes shifty as she notices his change.

“You know Lacey I picked you for a reason, I saw the look in your eye in the bar and I knew...you didn't belong here.”

The girl gulps and stumbles as she bends down and picks up a broken beer bottle and holds it out and backs up with a sob as Jensen steps forward “wh--why are you doing this?”

Jensen snorts and tucks his hands in his pockets “I’m not gonna be doing anything sweetie. You are. I might what do you think your doing here? You think your loved? Your not. Why kind of person sits alone in a bar? There's nothing left for you Lacey just end it now and save yourself the pain.”

The girl cries, black mascara dripping down her cheeks as her hand trembles and Jensen smirks and jumps forward and barks out “do it!”

The girl jumps, her hand slipping and the glass cutting against her wrist, blood flowing down her arm and she looks down and her cries slowly drift off as she watches the blood.

Jensen smiles and lowers his voice “just one more and it’ll all be over Lacey. don't you want it to be over?”

The girl hiccups and looks down at her arm, her bottom lip trembling as she holds the glass to her other wrist and cuts deep into the skin and cries as she does it. Jensen watches as she shakes, the bottle falling from her hand as she stumbles back and sits down against the brick wall and turns pale. 

He saunters over and raises a brow as he looks down and nudges her body with his shoe and watches her tip over, her lips turning blue as blood pools around her.

He cracks his neck and takes a deep breath.

He feels better already.


	3. I Do This Often

Jensen gains two new patients within a month of his kill. 

Danneel is 36, divorced and is a business woman with a high sex drive and low self esteem. The other is a young girl around Jared's age named Gen. College drop out and rape victim.

Jensen thinks their both easy targets with little to fight for and not much to live for. Why would they? Danneel is practically a whore, always begging for it when she comes to Jensen's office wearing provocative clothing and keeping her legs open. 

And Gen is timid, barley speaks and dosen't make eye contact. She flinches every time he comes near or reaches out to her and it makes him want to smile but he pretends to be concerned. 

He decides Danneel must go first. Her advances on him are vulgar and irritating, so much that he wants to off her himself just to get it over with so he never has to see her sneer like smile ever again.

He decides the window will do, he plays into her low self confidence.

Shes all eager to have him over to her shabby, chic apartment. She dosen't cook like Jared, she isn't nice and there is no small talk or tour. 

As soon as the door closes she pounces him, her lips attach themselves to his neck and he winces in disgust as red lipstick smears on his skin. He shoves it down and takes the opportunity to stick a syringe filled with PCP in her neck making her gasp and jerk back in shock, her hand coming up to hold the spot.

He watches with a delighted smirk as she stumbles and falls back against the wall and blinks owlishly up at Jensen and goes willingly when he grabs her arm and drags her barley clothed body across the tile floor roughly.

He shoves her harshly into the large glass window and lifts her up against it and sneers at her as she tries to grab at him, her eyes blinking rapidly and he forehead covered with sweat as she tries to focus on him as he twists her body so she can see her reflection.

“You see that? Look at how disgusting you are, no wonder your husband left you. Your pathetic...a pathetic little whore. What good are you?”

She shakes her head weakly and her head falls back on his shoulder as she cries but he grips her tighter and moves his lips to her ear “I’ve been waiting for this moment Danneel...enjoy the fall bitch.”

With that he shoves hard and she crashes through the glass with a scream and Jensen watches as she lands on the side walk with a sickening plop, screams erupting around her. 

Jensen smiles to himself and clicks his tongue as he backs away, kicks the syringe over to the rug and roughs it up a little and looks around and nods to himself before he makes his way down the back fire escape and walks to the front where a crowd is gathered.

He carefully cuts through the crowd and looks down at the dark blood pooling around Danneels broken body. He sneers at her and purses his lips as he backs away into the crowd.

One down.

One more to go.

When Jared comes in the next day his eyes are red and puffy and his skin is pale and Jensen can see dried tear stains on his cheeks. Jensen sits him down gently and sits next to him on the couch “Jay whats wrong?”

Oops. Slip.

Jared sniffs, unaware of the nickname. “My fr--friends aunt killed herself yesterday.”

Jensen freezes and feels his heart pound heavily against his chest “I...I heard about that. What was her name?”

“Danneel...we called her Dani. She’s had some problems recently. Her husband left her a couple months ago because he couldn't deal with...well with her problems. She was relapsing and he had tried to get her help and she promised she would but I guess she didn't.”

Jensen gulps and watches as Jared cries. He clears his throat and rubs Jared’s back “some people cant be helped. Its not your fault.”

Jared wipes his face and lets out a shaky sigh “I guess not...god Sandy is so upset.”

“She’s related to Sandy?”

“Yeah she was her moms sister.”

Jensen raises a brow. Huh. Small world.

Jensen's eye twitches and he bows his head and mumbles to himself. He would have to be more careful.

“So...hows school?”

Jared smiles weakly at the topic change “its good...I think I’m going to get that internship in the museum.”

“That's great Jared. So you’ve been good?”

Jared's smile falters and he looks down “I’m ok...I had a really great time with you last week even though it was a session. After that Chad tried to get me out more so I went to this club with him and I hated it. I left early and on my way this guy at the club tried to follow me thankfully my land lord came out and threatened to call the cops.”

Jensen clenches his fist and grits his teeth “do you know this guy?”

“No he seemed older, he was drunk but I’m ok.”

Rage fills inside Jensen at a fast pace and he tries to choke it down, his jaw tensing “if your sure.”

“I am.”

“Well maybe no going out with Chad for a while.”

Jared laughs and nods with watery eyes “I think your right, he feels bad though.”

And he should fucking dick.

“Speaking of Chad I gotta go meet with him. Danneels funeral is Friday and were going to Sandy’s family gathering.”

Jensen nods and watches Jared get up and turn back with an unsure face “if you want...I know its weird but if you want you could come to. I know you didn't know her but...well I’d like you to.”

Jared blushes and tucks his hair back as he looks down at the ground before rushing out the door.

Jensen furrows his brow and leans back against the couch. Jared wanted him to come to the funeral with him...the funeral of the woman he had killed yesterday.

He shouldn't go. He wont go.

He went.

He told himself not to, he got up that morning and while he got ready he told himself it was for work, that he dressed in a nice suit for work.

And then he was at the church.

White and pink roses littered the pews, tears were rolling down strangers faces and Jensen wanted to roll is eyes at the cliche of it all.

He spotted Jared up front near the casket with a dark haired girl he assumed was Sandy and an older man with black hair and a beard.

He took a breath and walked up the red aisle and clears his throat “hello Jared.”

Jared smiles and reaches out to hug him making him shiver “Jensen I’m glad your here. This is Sandy and Daneels ex husband Mark.”

Sandy has dark hair and brown slanted eyes. She smiles weakly and holds her hand out so he can shake it “nice to meet you I’ve heard a lot of good things.”

Jared blushes as Jensen glances at him “That's wonderful to hear, Jared is a great patient.”

As he went to sit he watched Sandy elbow Jared and whisper to him, his jaw dropping before he playfully shoves her and then sits next to her, in the front row, with the family. 

Half way through the funeral Jensen feels like his ears are burning and he flares is jacket as he starts sweating and then pauses as he hears a sniff. 

Jared is crying.

With a heavy heart he rises and quickly slips up to the front and sits next to Jared who looks are him with confusion in his eyes, his cheeks red and covered in tears. Jensen slowly wraps his arm around Jared's shoulders and pulls him in and Jared goes willingly, tucking his face in Jensen's neck and sobs. 

He was in deep.

After the funeral they all gather at the McCoy household to give their condolences and eat the wide spread thats laid out.

Jensen watches from the corner as Jared wanders around smiling and hugging others and Jensen marvels at his grace. Depression gone, sincere smile on Jensen found Jared’s calling.

Faking it.

If you looked closley you could see the smile strain, or his eyes water and weaken, his touch light and airy. He meant his words but more for him than anyone else. 

Jensen moves to the latest guest where Jared was and took his elbow and leads him back to the corner he was in “you need a break, your fading.”

Jared sits and scrubs at his face and looks up with tears in his eyes “I feel like this is my funeral. When people look at me its with pity in their eyes like they know somethings wrong with me. Why cant I be normal?”

Jared sobs and wraps his arms around himself in comfort and Jensen bends down and grips Jared’s wet cheeks and wipes the pretty tears from his face and smiles “who wants normal? No one is normal in this world Jay and its a shame if they are. Your sick its true but your not alone I’m here and I’m not gonna let anything happen to you. Ever.”

Jared smiles, his eyes shining and he lets out a wet laugh and reaches out with tender hands and runs his fingers through Jensen’s hair “thank you...I’m glad I have you.”

Jensen’s face heats up and he clears his throat. Oh God he could feel it again, the word vomit climbing up his throat threatening to come out and he tried to choke it down but-- “Go out with me?”

Jared blinks dumbly and looks around as if answering the question.

“I know its strange, your my patient not to mention i’m like 11 years older than you. You can say no it wont change anything I just...I feel something with you and that’s never happened to me.”

Jared looks down at his shaking hands and takes a deep breath before meeting Jensen’s eyes “I haven’t been on a date in 2 years and...and he broke me, he used me and I’ve spent 2 years locking myself up so no one could hurt me like that again. You know I’m broken, I’m used goods you don’t want me.”

Jensen takes Jared’s hands and holds them tight “you are the best person I know. Are you struggling? Yes. But I want to be here for you if I could rid the pain I would I would get rid of everyone whose ever hurt you. But its ok. I’ll fix you.”

Jared wipes his face and nods before flinging himself at Jensen and hugging him tight and for the first time Jensen could breathe.


	4. Sleepless Nights

They had been seeing each-other for a few weeks and Jensen had been practically bouncing with pleasure. Whenever Jared came in for their sessions they tried to act as natural as possible. So Jared would still spill out his problems and Jensen would write them down and give him advice and refill his prescriptions. 

Whenever the sessions were over was a different story. 

So far they hadn't gone past kissing because Jared didn't feel ready and Jensen was fine with that. But without Jared's touches the need to kill came back.

It was”date night” and Jared had been working hard all week on this paper for his history class and Jensen knew he was stressing so he decided to take him to see a movie and then out to a nice dinner, somewhere quiet. 

He tells Jared to pick the movie but the boy is unsure so he tells Jensen to choose instead and he’ll pick where they eat dinner. So Jensen picks Child's Play.”

Jared jumps and gasps during the movie, his hand coming out to grip Jensen's arm tight each time the dolls eyes glow red. Jensen smirks to himself and peeks over at Jared ever so often to see his eyes wide but not in fear and he isn't sure what it is.

Their almost to the end when Jared gives up trying to grab on and pushes the arm rest up and lays himself on Jensen's side making the man gulp and jump at the action. Jared usually dosen't make the first move. But he’ll take it.

When the movie is over they sit there till everyone files out and Jared turns and smiles at him as they get up “did you like it?”

Jensen takes his hand and leads him outside into the cool night “it was alright, not as good as the old one of course.”

Jared nods “I agree it was different, maybe a little too different.”

“Were you scared?”

Jared blushes and glances over “maybe a little...”

Jensen chuckles and shakes his head as he opens the car door for Jared “maybe more than a little huh princess?”

Jared narrows his eyes as Jensen shuts the door and the older man laughs as he watches the boy grumble to himself in the car. When he climbs in Jared turns to him “you know I was a little scared but I actually felt bad for Chucky in this movie.”

“Why?”

“Well all he wanted was for Andy to love him back, he just wanted to protect the kid from all the horrible things in the world. Is killing right? Of course not and he isn't justifiable for what he did I guess I just understand.”

Jensen blinks and turns his head and looks down at the steering wheel as Jared's words sink in and he clears his throat “so if someone you knew did something like that. Killed others to protect you or get close to you. What would you do?”

Jared frowns to himself and purses his lips as he thinks “I’m not sure, hopefully I’ll never have to answer that question.”

He gives Jensen a small smile and leans his head back against the seat “what about you?”

“I would feel flattered that someone cared about me that much. It would make me feel safe.”

“Safe? Even though there's someone out there hurting people?”

“But are they innocent people? Is anyone in this world really innocent?”

Jared’s lips part and he glances down at Jensen's lips before looking back and taking a breath “I think I want sushi.”

Jensen blinks at the topic change but lets it slide. He’ll get Jared to answer later.

A couple nights later and he hasn't seen Jared since that date. His talked to him of course but the boys been busy with school and he knows that.

But the urge is hitting him.

He twists and struggles on the bed knocking the sheets off as he clenches his fists and tries to keep his sweaty body where its at. But the urge wins out. 

He dresses quickly in a black hoodie and some jeans and slips into the night and walks around town. 

His steps falter as he passes by a drug store and sees a dark haired girl sitting on the curb. Its Gen.

God how perfect.

He smiles to himself and feels his heart thrum with glee as he walks forward, the girl looking up and relaxing as she notices him “oh...Dr. Ackles what are you doing here?”

Jensen raises a brow “I could ask you the same-thing its after midnight.”

Gen makes a face and looks back at the drug store “I know...my friend works here and she said she would stay open late so I could get my meds but she isn't here and I’m out.”

“And which meds are they?”

“My sleeping pills.”

Jensen nods”right your seraquil. You know I have some spares at my apartment its just down the street I would be happy to give you some to tide you over until you can get your prescription.”

The girl bites her lip and looks back at the store “well I guess that would be ok...”

Jensen tries not to smile at the girls stupidity.

Instead he leads her to his quiet apartment building and guides her inside his door and shuts it quickly, his eyes lowering and his body tingling as the girl looks around.

He slithers forward “stay here...I’ll get them.”

He ducks into his room and bends down to look under his bed and slides a box out and pulls out a needle full of a cocktail of drugs, his face snarling as he walks back in the living room and spots Gen glancing out the window.

He walks up behind her and wraps his arm around her neck and holds her tight and watches as her eyes widen in alarm through the window. He drags her away and twists her arms and pulls it behind her, smiling as she cries out in pain.

“You know I was just gonna drug you up and leave you in the alley but I think I’ll slit your wrists as well after all you rater unhinged right?”

She cries out and he stabs her side with the needle and savors the jump she gives before her body slacks in his hold and he heaves her up in his arms and loads her in the car. 

He drives her out to her shitty apartment and slips on some dark glasses and ruffles his hair before carrying her inside and prying her door open. He sits her in the shower and goes to the kitchen and grabs a dull knife. After he slips his gloves on he carefully places the knife in her hand and smirks to himself as her eyes flutter.

He guides the knife to her wrist and he starts cutting.

When he’s done shes bleeding out and her body is growing pale. He stands and drop's the needle next to her and flips the shower on cold and snarls down at the girl.

He cracks his knuckles and looks around and sneers at the state of her place. She should be thanking him for this, after all he is getting her out of this hell hole. To be honest she probably wouldn't have lasted much longer anyway.

What did she have to live for?

Feeling satisfied and finally sated he goes home, takes a quick shower to wash the grime of her place off him and slips into bed and sleeps like a baby.


	5. Is This Paradise?

Couple days later, after they find Gen’s body Jared knocks on his front door with wet eyes “shes dead.”

Jensen frowns “who?”

Jared walks past him and wipes at his face “Genevieve Cortese...she went to school with me last year but dropped out because...something bad happened to her. I haven't seen her since and I mean we weren't really that close but first Dani and now her? Whats happening?”

Jensen's eye twitches and he swallows down a hard gulp he reaches out a shaky hand and gently rubs Jared’s back “I’m sorry baby its odd that's for sure.”

Jared nods and leans on Jensen's shoulder and rubs his face on Jensen's shirt “Its just so weird I mean Danneel’s only been dead for two weeks and now Gen?”

“Did they say how she died?”

Jared lets out a shaky breath and leans back “suicide...they found her in her apartment dosed up on drugs and with her wrists slit. I knew she had problems I mean when she was raped I remember how distraught she was I just hoped she had found help. But I guess she didn't.”

Jensen clears his throat and fidgets on the couch before shaking his head “there are times where rape victims don't feel the need to seek help, don't think their worth it. And if what your saying is true then maybe your friend just felt like she was better off alone. I know it sucks to hear that but like I said you cant help everyone.”

Jared nods and sighs before turning and pressing a kiss to Jensen's neck “thank you for being there for me, I don't know what I would do without you.”

Jensen smiles and brushes Jared's hair back “I’ll always be here for you baby, always.”

Jensen knows now that he has to be careful, with Danneel he knew it but now knowing that Jared also knew Gen he has to be on high alert. The irony of the whole situation is killing him and it makes him paranoid. 

He tries to control the urge and whenever he and Jared go out to bars and he sees lonely girls or boys with vulnerabilities in their eyes it makes him want to pounce , makes him want to see red.

He shakes his head and smiles at Jared as the boy rambles on about his archaeology class, his gentle hands carefully messing with his margarita glass and Jensen chuckles and slides his hand across the table and takes Jared's and stills it “slow down baby, your talking to fast.”

Jared blushes and sips his frozen mango margarita and nods his head “sorry I just love this class so much I cant believe when I first started school I was going to major in Business Management.”

Jensen raises a brow “where did that comes from?”

Jared shrugs “my dad. He and my mom own this shop back home and they wanted me to take it over because my brother is a doctor and my sister is still in high school but business has never been my thing I’ve always loved history and the stories that bones tell. My dad hated it and said he wouldn't pay for my school if I did that and I cant get financial aid because my parents make to much money. So I ended up applying for dozens of scholarships and got a full ride.”

Jared beams as he sips his drink, his cheeks flushed and happy and Jensen feels his heart melt and he looks down at the menu “have you decided what you want yet?”

He means food and he looks back down at his menu and scans over it quickly and purses his lips. He's thinking a big juicy burger with all the fixins, and when he looks up to ask Jared again he freezes.

The boys are full blown and innocent, his cheeks flushed and a shy smile on his face as he blinks his doe like eyes. Jensen gulps at the hot, yet bashful look and he shifts as he adjusts himself.

Jared bites his lip wetly and ducks his head “well right now I’m going to get a salad and later...I would like you.”

Jensen's eyes widen and Jared's cheeks darken and Jensen can see the embarrassment cross his face and before the boy can back track he scoots his chair closer till he’s pressing against Jared's side and leans in and presses his lips to Jared's ear “are you sure?”

Jared nods and Jensen squeezes his eyes closed and reaches up and grabs Jared's chin between his fingers and turns his head and gives him a sloppy kiss, their lips smacking as they part “then you’ll get me.”

When they get back to Jensen’s place Jared has had two more margaritas and Jensen has had four beers. He unlocks the door and chuckles as Jared plasters himself to his back and giggles in his ear as he is shoved inside. 

Jared trips over his foot and stumbles as he turns around and bites his lip and gives Jensen a slow smile that makes his body tingle. He drops his keys on the floor and kicks the door shut, his eyes locked on Jared's fully blown ones as he walks closer to the boy.

When he gets there, their chests inches from each other Jared’s breathing harder and Jensen can see his body trembling and he reaches out and slides his rough hand down Jared's smooth arm and takes his hand and tugs him closer till they touch and Jared's breath hitches.

Jared blinks rapidly before his eyes settle and he looks at Jensen through thick lashes and lets out a breath as Jensen presses their foreheads together and closes his eyes as he slides his skin along Jared’s.

His hand slides from Jared's and around his waist his other running down Jared's backside, his fingers digging into luscious skin and Jared whimpers. He presses his lips to Jared's ear and breathes hard “let me come in Jay, let me remind you why human contact is an absolute necessity. Let me grab your hips and bring you in close, let me show you that you’ll never lose me. Let me bite your pretty pink lips and touch your soft skin, let me hear your sounds, let me be the only one to ever have you this way.”

Jared melts, his knees weaking and Jensen catches him and smirks against his skin as he drags him to his room and presses him against the door, his mouth open as it trails down Jared's smooth neck making the boy moan and clutch his jacket tight.

Jared tilts his head back against the door and pants as he shoves Jensen's jacket down and tosses it aside roughly and does the same to his own and tangles his fingers in Jensen's short hair and pulls him forward and crashes their lips together in a heated kiss.

Jensen traces his tongue against Jared's and opens his mouth wide as he tilts Jared's head to succumb to him. And slides his hands up Jared's shirt and they pull back with a smack as he tugs it off and his own.

He traces Jared's bottom lip and the boy closes his eyes briefly and kisses Jensen's thumb and the man falls more in love.

He grabs Jared by the hips and whirls him around and throws him on the bed and crawls over him, his back rippling and his shoulders moving as he crawls over the boy like a predator. He kisses him again and savor's the sound of clashing teeth and the desperate moans that come from Jared's mouth as Jensen rids them of their clothes. 

Jensen reaches over and grabs the lotion on his night stand and looks down at Jared again as he gently slides a finger into the boy and pauses. He will never forget the tousled hair that lay on his pillow like a fragile halo, the way the sweat dripped from his own forehead onto Jared's or how their sweaty bodies molded together perfectly. 

He moves back after he is finished prepping Jared and holds up a condom in question but the boy bites his lip and quietly asks with his eyes. Do they need one?

Jensen gives him a look and throws it over his shoulder and Jared smiles and strokes Jensen's scruff as the man slides inside, Jared's eyes widening and his breath stalling as Jensen hits home.

He lets out a mixture of a moan and a gasp and arches up into Jensen's touch, his legs coming up to frame Jensen's hips and tugging him in closer. Jensen bites his lip and gives a grunt as he starts thrusting and places hot, wet kisses down Jared's neck and nibbles at his collar bone.

His fingers dig into tan skin and lift a toned thigh up higher and he adjusts his hips and Jared lights up as his prostate is hit over and over again. Jared gasps and digs his nails in Jensen's back and the moans at the pleasure-pain that hits him and drops his head and gives Jared a dirty kiss and keeps their lips together as he mumbles “I love you.”

Tears fill Jared's eyes and for a moment Jensen panics. But then a wide smile splits his face and he lifts off the bed and kisses Jensen hard and lifts his hips up so Jensen will keep on thrusting.

“I love you to Jensen.”

Jensen's hips stutter and he drops his head in Jared's neck and holds him tight “fuck Jared...fuck baby I--”

Jared nods and reaches one hand up to grip the bed rail and arches up “me to Jen...please Jensen,” he leans up and presses his lips to Jensen's ear “please come inside, wanna be yours.”

Jensen moans and thrusts one more time before he cums hot and wet deep inside Jared making the boy whimper before he releases against Jensen's stomach.

Jared shivers in the aftermath as Jensen pulls out and lays on his back and rolls Jared so he is laying on top of his chest and kisses his cheek “I mean it...I do love you Jared.”

Jared sighs and leans up and smiles sleepily down at him “so do I.”

He gives him one last kiss and once Jared slips into a deep sleep Jensen feels content.

For now.


	6. Trips

After their first time their both insatiable. Whenever Jared is close Jensen just cane keep his hands to himself, the boys like a siren. When their laying in bed watching TV he cant help but reach a hand out and stroke Jared's smooth skin and savor the shivers the boy gives. 

When Jared comes in for his sessions Jensen thanks God that his office is secured so once the door closes he’s free to pull him in his arms and kiss him all over. 

His never been in love before, never really felt love as a matter of fact, not even for his parents. He tolerated them till he got old enough and got out of there the first chance he got. 

He dosen't talk to them anymore.

They’ve been dating for almost 4 months and Jensen still has stars in his eyes when he looks at Jared and Jared still blushes when he catches him staring and he hopes it never changes. 

It only makes sense for Jared to move in.

He isn't sure yet how to ask. He knows Jared has dogs and of course they would be coming with the boy including all his insecurities and issues but he’s ready for that. There also comes the no privacy issue. What happens when he cracks? What happens when he wakes up in the middle of the night and sees Jared sleeping next to him and his hands itch to hurt someone.

He’ll have to figure it out.

So he gets a safe and stores it under his bed and locks all of his tools and drugs away. If Jared asks he’ll tell him its a secret, that its something valuable from his family or some bullshit. Jared likes sincerity.

He’s sitting on the couch one night, drinking a beer and watching some show on TV when it hits him. He knows exactly how he’ll ask Jared to move on. He knows Jared has winter break coming up so maybe a weekend getaway would be nice. He frowns to himself as he thinks.

Their already in Charleston, a perfect vacation spot, its currently December so he knows vacation spots will be booming but for the first time he wants to do something nice. He knows there's a nice Museum in Phili called the Penn Museum. They could drive there and spend the weekend together. 

Jensen smiles to himself and whips his phone out and sends Jared a text.

“Hey baby I was thinking...wanna go somewhere special this weekend?”

He chugs the rest of his beer and walks to the kitchen and dumps it in the trash when his phone dings.

“Ok! I can get Chad to watch the dogs. What day?”

“Lets leave Friday morning is nine ok?”

“Ok:) where are we going?”

Jensen chuckles and smiles as he types “that's for me to know and you to find out:)”

“:(“

“Oh don't give me that pout your gonna love it I promise. Still coming over tomorrow?”

“Of course Jen.”

“Great, well I’ll see you tomorrow babe love you.”

“I love you to.”

Jensen sighs and tucks his phone in his pocket as he leans against the counter. Oh yeah Jared's gonna love it.

Friday morning Jared pulls up in his old Jeep Liberty wrapped up in a hoodie and a scarf, a beanie shoved over his shaggy hair and hanging in his eyes. He gives Jensen a bright grin as he pulls out his duffle bag “I’m ready!”

Jensen chuckles and steps outside with his own bag and grabs Jared's and throws their bags in the back of his trunk and shuts it. Jared climbs into the car and flips on the heat and shivers before turning with a beaming smile “so where we going?”

Jensen smirks and looks over at him as he backs out of the drive “I don't think so sweetheart your just gonna have to wait.”

Jared rolls out his bottom lip and Jensen just chuckles and turns on the radio and they drive in peaceful silence. Once it hits five Jared makes a face “Jensen where are we going?”

“Cant tell you.”

“But its been forever!”

“Not much longer I promise.”

Jared sighs but says nothing and munches on his slim jim and glares at Jensen from the passenger seat.

By the time they make it to their hotel Jared's leaning against the window dead asleep. Jensne pulls into the Aloft Hotel and slips inside to get their key card and comes out to wake Jared.

He opens the door and catches Jared's shoulder and bends down and gently shakes the boy awake “hey baby, were here.”

Jared blinks lazily and sits up “Jensen?”

Jensen smiles and helps the boy out of the car “yeah come on baby lets go get some rest.”

Suddenly Jared's wide awake. He freezes and looks around with wide eyes as he spots the trendy hotel in front of him and then looks around the downtown area “where are we?”

“Pennsylvania...Phili to be exact. I thought tomorrow we could explore and maybe check out the Penn Museum?”

Jared gasps and throws his arms around Jensen's shoulders “oh my God Jensen really? I’ve always wanted to go there! My professor said its so cool and they have this great exhibit and--”

Jensen laughs and cups Jared's cheeks and kisses him “were gonna check it out ok? Will see some other sites to...right now lets go up, shower and order room service ok?”

Jared smiles and melts “ok.” he takes Jensen's hand and they walk inside. The hotel is lavish and loft like and Jared looks around in awe as they climb into the elevator and head to the 8th floor.

Their room is just as great. The bed is huge and covered in a white duvet, the bathroom has a bathtub big enough to swim in and the shower is just as big.

Jared falls back on the bed and sighs thankfully as he blinks up at Jensen with doe likes eyes and like the prey Jensen falls in. He climbs over the boy and closes his eyes and nuzzles his neck, sighing as Jared's hand stroke his back.

“I love you Jensen.”

Jensen presses a kiss to Jared's nose “I love you.”

The next day they get up bright and early and Jared's jumping with excitement and practically skipping to the car. When they get to the Museum Jared takes Jensen's hand and rushes inside and straight for the anthropology exhibit. 

As he roams from place to place Jensen reaches for the extra key in his pocket and grips it tight. Suddenly he feels unsure. What if Jared says no? What if its to early for this? Or what if he says yes and Jared moves in and finds out everything? He gulps and feels sweat gather on his forehead but its to late, Jared's turning around.

Jared cocks his head “are you ok?”

Jensen takes a breath and nods to himself and pulls the key out and Jared looks confused “I wanted to do something nice this weekend, I wanted us to spend time together because...I want you to move in with me.”

Jared's eyes widen and he looks down at the key and gasps and then looks back up at Jensen his eyes changing from blueish green to gold “you want...oh my God.”

Jensen shuffles on his feet “its ok if you don't want to I just thought it would be good for us, for you if--”

Jared shakes his head and moves forward “no Jensen I want to, I want to move in with you.”

Jensen lets out a sigh of relief, tangles his fingers in Jared's hair and yanks him forward for a kiss. 

He’ll have to hide his stuff better now.


	7. Lights Out

Jared moves in on a weekend.

Jensen has hidden his stuff by now, bought a safe, pulled up some floorboards under his bed, stuffed it in there and then threw a rug over it. He made sure the apartment was extra clean, made sure he didn't leave anything out in the open.

Chad and Sandy came over to help and to drop Jared off one last time. Chad wasn't thrilled that Jared was leaving even though he had met Jensen a couple of times. Sandy was happy and hugged both of them. 

Jared didn't have much stuff. But he had a big wardrobe. His dogs came with stuff to. So now Jared's clothes take up half his closet and some of his dresser, he’s thinking about buying another one. His shoes sit in the corner, his school stuff is in the hallway, his pictures with his friends and his family sit on the night stand and coffee table, the dog bowls are in the kitchen and the huge bag of dog food is in the laundry room. There's a blue toothbrush next to his red one, another thing of deodorant and some fancy smelling shampoo, conditioner, and body wash in the shower.

Its new. And he likes it. 

Its different and easy how they settle into their domestic lifestyle. Their going grocery shopping together, their thinking about repainting and getting some new decor and buying a new bed set. 

Jensen likes it very much.

He like coming home and seeing Jared on the couch with his homework laid out in front of him and his face twisted with focus. He likes waking up to his warm body every morning and kissing the boy awake as he lies plastered to his side.

They’ve adapted pretty easily and Jensen is floating on a cloud nine. At least until the urge comes back.

Its in the middle of the night, he’s half asleep when his eyes shoot open and his body begins to sweat, his breathing quickens and his heart feels like it might burst. He shoots a look over at Jared whose sleeping soundly next to him, on his stomach, his face pressed to Jensen's shoulder. 

He clenches his fist and lets out a shaky breath and tries to focus on the ceiling. He counts the small pebbles and listens as the apartment rattles. He even tries counting but nothing works. He hurls the blankets off and carefully gets out of bed and dresses in sweat pants and a hoodie and sends another look over to Jared before he sneaks out.

He isn't sure where he’s going but there has to be someone, something he can find. His been walking for almost 20 minutes when he sees a girl ahead of him, alone and tripping over her feet as she stumbles and holds onto the wall.

He quickens his steps and moves to stand in front of the young woman who blinks sluggishly up at him. He gives her a polite smile “hello...would you like some help home?”

The woman groans and without replying throws herself in Jensen's arms and he pulls her up as he leads her down the path. The woman rattles off some mumbled directions and Jensen listens till their about 5 minutes from her home and he cuts down an alley way and throws her into the wall.

She falls to her knees, her tights ripping open and makes a face as she pushes herself up and looks at Jensen “wha--”

Jensen slips a pair of gloves on and grabs her throat and grips tight making her eyes widen in fear as she reaches up and holds onto his arm and tries to pull him off. Jensen's lip snarls as he looks her over “people like you disgust me. Little girls trying to dress up just to get a mans attention. That's what you did tonight right? Tried to whore yourself out like a worthless little slut?”

The girl sobs, black mascara running down her pale cheeks and he grips tighter till she chokes and slams her back and crawls over her and throws his weight on her stomach making her gasp.

He reaches in his back pocket and holds a needle up but just as he reaches down she smacks a hand out and knocks it out of his hand and he watches as it rolls under the trashcan nearby. He growls, his teeth baring and he heaves the girl up and slams her head against the dirty pavement and watches her eyes swim.

He looks around quickly trying to find something, anything he can use on her and finds a broken bottle lying on the ground. He crawls off her and trips over to the bottle and grabs it tightly and turns just as the girl struggles off the ground.

He tangles his fingers in her sweaty red hair and snaps her head back and holds the bottle to her neck and leans down “you know I usually don't do this myself but I just cant resist, its just been to long.”

The girl cries loudly and tries to buck against him and Jensen smirks and closes his eyes as her panicked cries fill his ears and then lifts the bottle to her neck and slashes deeply across the skin savoring the wet gurgle she gives as she falls forward.

He cocks his head and watches her body still and kicks at her with his foot and nods to himself. He looks around the alleyway and drags her body behind the dumpster and throws a bag over her.

He’s feeling purely satisfied when he walks back in his apartment. He kicks his shoes off and undresses quickly and slips in bed next to Jared whose still sleeping deeply. The boy sighs and rolls over and snuggles into Jensen's chest and wraps his arms around him.

Jensen smiles and closes his eyes and presses a kiss to Jared's temple and holds the boy tightly to him and drifts off into sleep the desire gone for now.

When he wakes the next morning Jared's side of the bed is empty and he can hear him rumbling around in the kitchen no doubt making breakfast. Its Saturday which means no class, no work and Jensen plans on them staying in all day.

He throws the covers off and stretches his back and goes to the bathroom to piss and run his fingers through his hair before he walks into the kitchen and sees Jared standing at the stove flipping french toast and drinking coffee.

He bites his lip and quietens his footsteps and slithers up behind the boy and wraps his arms around his waist making Jared jump and turn around in panic before he gives Jensen a look “you scared me!”

Jensen smirks and pulls Jared closer and wraps his arms around his hips and gropes his round cheeks before pressing their lips together in a deep kiss, his tongue swiping over Jared's bottom lip making the boy whimper as he sinks down into Jensen's embrace. 

When he pulls back Jared still has his eyes closed and lets out a whine “why did you stop?”

Jensen chuckles and looks over his shoulder “cause your burning breakfast.”

Jared gasps and turns around and flips the stove off and pouts “damn...they were almost done.”

“Its ok baby we can just go out and get some breakfast, spend the day together.”

Jared smiles and nods his head and the go to slip some clothes on. Jared's sitting on the bed tying his shoes when his phone goes off. He frowns and looks down “its an alert...oh my god.”

“What?”

Jared stands and goes to the living room and flips the news on and stands in front of the TV with his arms crossed and Jensen walks up behind him in confusion.

“Early this morning a passerby was taking an early morning stroll and found the body of 26 year old Anna Merril. The police speculate Ms. Merril was on her way home from a bar when she was attacked. No word yet on how she died and no witnesses have come forth but it can be known that--”

Jared blinks and turns around “can you believe that?”

Jensen gulps “did you know her?”

Jared shakes his head “no I didn't I just...this place use to be so safe and now it feels so dangerous.”

Jensen reaches a hand out and strokes Jared's cheek “crime spikes in certain times of the year and were definantly in that time. Plus the city is growing and becoming more populated by the day its not unusual.”

The boy nods his head and takes Jensen's hand and smiles “well I know this might sound morbid but good for me I guess...”

“How so?”

“Well I start that internship soon and the Doctor I’m working with is a forensic anthropologist remember? So I’ll get to help him on some cases.”

Jared smiles again and goes to walk out the door and head to the car and leaves Jensen standing in the middle of the room with a baffled expression. 

This might be a problem.


	8. Adventures Out

Jared starts his internship. He goes Monday-Friday as soon as his classes are over and spends most of the day there coming home when Jensen does from work. Jensen gets home before Jared and everyday he sits in his chair and he waits, his eyes on the door.

Jared bounds inside with a happy smile and instantly starts rambling on about what he did that day and how Dr. Ramsey let him determine what killed their latest victim. 

Jensen feels worried. 

He tries to smile and encourage Jared but he cant help but feel scared. This could hurt him, of course he’s careful he never lets himself get caught and he never kill his victims himself. Expect for that one girl. Which felt great. He never leaves any evidence of himself behind, he’s smarter than that.

But he knows eventually its going to become strange if random people keep popping up from suicide. 

So maybe he should switch it up.

Which is why he tells Jared he’s going on a business trip.

He tells him over dinner while Jared is standing at the stove stirring Alfredo sauce and he’s chopping up lettuce for a salad. 

“A business trip?”

“Yeah its more like a conference there's going to be some other therapist there sharing some of our cases. I shouldn't be gone longer than two days.”

Jared sighs and gives him a smile as he cuts the stove off “I’m going to miss you...when are you leaving?”

“Thursday...” Jensen sits the knife down and moves forward and nuzzles Jared's cheek with his face “I’m going to miss you to baby...so lets make the most of this week.”

And they do make the most of it.

They spend the whole time in bed where Jensen lavishes Jared's body with wet kisses and sharp licks of his tongue. He spends most of the time inside of Jared's hot, tight body trying to hold to memory the sound of the younger boys moans and high pitched whimpers so he can take them with him when he leaves.

Thursday morning he wakes Jared with a soft trail down his naked spine and smiles as Jared shivers and wiggles his hips as he flips over and gives Jensen a sleepy smile and stretches his arms up “leaving?”

Jensen bends down and grips Jared’s bare hips and nuzzles the mans neck “yeah...” he presses open mouthed kisses down the smooth skin and groans under his breath as he yanks himself away “I wish I wasn't.”

Jared hums and reaches a hand up and scratches at the scruff on Jensen's face “then don't...tell them your sick and cant go.”

Jensen chuckles and shakes his head and bends down and presses a kiss to Jared's lips and nips at his lip before he backs away “I love you, I’ll call tonight ok?”

Jared nods and rolls back over on his belly cuddles up to his pillow and Jensen feels the strong urge to say fuck it to the whole thing and crawl back into bed with his sleepy soft boy but then the overwhelming desire to hurt something builds up inside him and instead he backs away and slips out into the cold morning.

He drives to another part of South Carolina just to be safe and checks into a nice hotel and lays on the bed staring at the ceiling until it gets dark outside. Before he leaves he gives Jared a call and tells the boy how much he misses him and he might be home early if all goes well and then drives an hour away from where he currently is. Better safe than sorry.

He’s dressed in holey jeans and a plaid shirt that he bought an hour earlier and ruffs his hair up from its usual gelled state and pulls on a pair of cheap glasses. He walks around until he finds a college bar that's filled with drunk teens and bad choices and figures this is the perfect place.

He orders a beer and winces as he gulps down the warm liquid and pushes it away from him and looks around the dingy place.

There's a boy standing in the middle of the dance floor, stumbling over his feet as he tries to sway his hips, his arms flailing and his eyes dark and squinted. He gets up from the bar stool and walks over to the boy who looks up at him with blinking blue eyes.

Jensen smirks down at him and looks him over “hey there...whats your name?”

“Will...” Jensen raises a brow at the mumbled voice and reaches out and grips the boys arm “Will...I’m Roger wanna get some air?”

The boy looks around before looking back at him with a drunk smirk and nods his head “yes sir I would.”

Jensen drags the boy from the club and reaches back in his pocket to make sure the needle is still there when suddenly the boy struggles and tries to pull back and Jensen looks over his shoulder and sees the boys eyes locked in on his pocket.

Jensen growls under his breath and before the boy can open his mouth he jerks him into the alleyway and covers his mouth with his hand and presses him to the grimy wall “if you scream I’ll make it worse got it? I will rip you apart limb from limb and I’ll make sure you feel it all do you understand?”

Will nods with wide, fear filled eyes and Jensen gives him a deadly smile “good...then will make this nice and easy ok?”

He lowers his hand and the boy sobs “why are you doing this to me? I don't even know you.”

Jensen smiles and looks the boy over before his eyes lower and he leans in closer, his minty breath hitting the boys pale cheek “all the more reason...got to be careful you know? I’ve been doing this for a long time Will, never really cared much but now I’ve got my baby at home waiting on me so how about we make this quick?”

Will’s eyes grow in alarm and just as he opens his mouth to scream Jensen wraps his hands around the boys neck and gives it a quick turn and a crack sounds out in the silent alley way and the boy falls to the ground in a lifeless slump.

Jensen stretches his arms above his head and pops his own neck before bending down to make sure the boy is dead. When he feels no pulse and no signs of life he sighs to himself as a feeling of bliss fills him.

Maybe he will make it home early.

He stays for two more days and finds two more victims in different towns just so their spread out. Their small time college kids and he makes sure he leaves no trace. When he checks out he can hear people in the lobby talking about the murders and how they cant believe how close they are and Jensen just smirks.

When he gets home Jared's standing in the kitchen making dinner and when he spots Jensen his face lights up and he rushes toward him and jumps, his long legs wrapping around Jensen's waist and he presses against him.

Jensen smiles and plunges his tongue in Jared's mouth and moans at the feeling of having him in his arms again. He lays him down on the couch and strips them both quickly and reaches under the couch for the lube they keep there.

There's no time for foreplay he needs it and he wants it and with the way Jared's withering on the cushions he can tell the boy does to. So he preps Jared quickly and slicks himself up before pushing inside Jared's tight body, his eyes clenching shut at the feeling.

Jared bites his lip and arches up into his thrust and digs his nails in Jensen's shoulders as he holds on tight and moves his own hips up so he can meet Jensen's. Sweat is building between his shoulder blades as his thrusts grow sloppy and Jared clenches tight and that's all it takes and its over quick.

He falls down on top of Jared and kisses his clammy neck and thumbs at his red lips and tells him how much he loves him and Jared's none the wiser.


	9. Rivals

Things take a turn a week later when Jared invites Chad and Sandy over for dinner. He hasn't spent much time with Chad, dosen't like the man that much. He’s cocky, sarcastic, flirty, and self absorbed. But Jared begs him and he relents.

So he and Jared cook something nice and his friends show up with beer and wine and Jared hugs them both tightly. They sit down at the table and start eating and Jared talks happily, completely oblivious to the harsh stares Chad is sending Jensen's way.

Their about to move on to dessert when Chad finally opens his mouth and lowers the boom.

“So Jensen...how old are you again?”

Jensen clears his throat “I’m 32...I’ll be 33 soon.”

Chad hums and nods his head “right...and you know Jared is 21 correct? Not to mention the whole being your patient thing.”

Jared tenses up and looks back and forth between Jensen and Chad “whats your point Chad?”

Chad wipes his mouth and folds his hands in front of him and leans across the table and looks dead set at Jensen “my point is what do you want with a boy 11 years younger than you? Cant find anyone your own age? Or do you just like em’ twink size?”

Jared gasps, his face turning bright red “Chad! What the hell is wrong with you?”

Chad scoffs “come on Jared you cant tell me you think this man loves you? He’s your therapist Jared don't you know how wrong that is? He’s supposed to be helping you--”

“He is helping me! He helps me everyday I wouldn't even be here without him!”

Sandy closes her eyes and bends her head down as Chad cocks his head “what does that mean?”

Jared blinks back tears and lets out a scoff “my life is not easy and it never has been. My life is shit and before I met Jensen I cant tell you how many times I thought about killing myself. And then I saw his name in an ad and I thought why not? If this dosen't work then at least I tried but it did. He gives me hope. He helps me when I have an episode, when my dad calls, when he dosen't call. Jensen is there. Where have you been? I haven't seen you since I moved out, you barley call. What kind of friend is that?”

“Jared I--”

Jared shakes his head and stands up “I think you should go now.”

Chad blinks “excuse me?”

“I think you should leave. You disrespected me in my home--”

Chad scoffs and stands up “your home? This isn't your home Jared.”

Jared looks up, his eyes full of anger and narrows them “it is now. Now get out.”

They stare at each other a moment longer before Chad shakes his head, knocks his chair over and stomps out of the apartment. Sandy looks around and sighs before getting up and picking up the chair and then coming to hug Jared who melts “you don't agree with him right?”

Sandy reaches up and tucks his hair back “I just want you to be happy and if Jensen makes you happy then that's all that matters.”

Jared smiles and hugs her back then plops down in his chair when she leaves and looks over at Jensen “I’m sorry I didn't think this would happen.”

Jensen takes his hand “its ok baby he’s just jealous. His love life is an endless circle of one night stands that are going no where. Your to mature for him now, not all friendships last forever you know, its rare if they do especially college ones. Your going different directions and that's ok.”

Jared nods and closes his eyes “your right...maybe we’ve just grown into different people.” he wipes his face and gives Jensen a shaky smile “at least I have you.”

Jensen grins and cups his cheeks “you’ll always have me.”

And so begins the estrangement of Jared's friends. 

He didn't mean for it to happen this way but he cant deny its perfect. They cant blame him he didn't choose this, and he didn't technically persuade Jared to make this choice. He did it on his own.

Its rough for the first two weeks. Chad calls relentlessly, sends texts, leaves voice mails, sends emails, even drops by the apartment only to stand at the door like an idiot. 

Jensen cant help but feel pride well up inside of him every time Jared rolls his eyes, glares at the screen, or huffs when there's a knock at the door. The boy is slowly turning to his side. 

Its a little different with Sandy. He still talks to her just not constantly and he can tell the girl feels hurt. She tries to soothe the anger between Jared and Chad, tries to get everyone to come to an agreement.

So Jared throws out a compromise. 

If Chad can promise to behave and try to get along with Jensen then Jared will think about it. The agreement lasts for two hours before Chad starts spurting off some stupid shit about their age different and morals. After that Jared grabs Jensen by the arm and tugs him from the bar and starts angrily cussing Chad under his breath as they go to the car.

He likes this side of Jared.

The only sides he has seen of Jared are sad, happy, emotional, and goofy not once as angry Jared made an appearance but he has to admit its a bit of a turn on. His cheeks flush with red, his forehead sweats so his hair sticks to his skin, his pupils dilate and his eyes change from hazel to a deep gold. 

When they get home that night Jensen slams him against the door and fucks him against the cool wood. 

Yes he is floating on a high...until Jared’s dad calls. 

It hasn't happened in a while, maybe a while after they started seeing each other so naturally Jensen forgot all about Jared’s dad. 

It happens when Jared's in the shower. His phone starts ringing as Jensen puts in the DVD their planning on watching and he turns to check the ID but dosen't know the number. He turns and shouts down the hall “babe your phone is ringing!”

“Answer it! I’m almost done!”

Jensen clears his throat and picks up the call “hello this is Jensen.”

“Yes...um is Jared there?”

Jensen frowns at the low voice “and who is asking?”

The line is silent and Jensen draws back to see if they hung up when they answer “Its his dad.”

Jensen blinks and feels something circuit in him. Something dark twists in his belly and rage settles over him as he thinks about the balls this man must have to keep on calling his boy, how he must get a thrill out of hurting him. 

He lowers his voice to a dangerous whisper, his eyes narrow into thin slits as he hisses “you listen to me you piece of shit if you call back here again I will find you and I will slit your throat from ear to ear. Do you understand me? You have no right to contact him after all the pain you’ve put him through, he dosen't want to speak to you. If you call him again, if you repeat any of this conversation I will end you.”

He can hear the man gulp and feels satisfaction swell inside him.

“Who is this?”

His lip curls as the shower cuts off and he decides to end it “this is his boyfriend.” he clicks the call off then deletes the number and tosses the phone as Jared pads in, his hair still wet and curling at the ends wearing old plaid pj bottoms and one of Jensen's old baseball shirts and sits next to him “who was it?”

Jensen smiles and throws a blanket over them as the movie starts and kisses Jared's head “wrong number.”

Jared smiles and lays his head on Jensen's shoulder and turns to this movie as thoughts swirl in his head. 

He knows who his next victim is.


	10. Mission Accomplished

It takes a bit of time to locate Jared's dad but when he does he isn't surprised about the turn out. 

Right after he left the family the man moved to Colorado with the woman he cheated with. They settled down and had two kids. He had a whole new life, his family completely forgotten and thrown away like trash, like they never existed.

He hates this man.

Gerald Padalecki works for a small hardware store, owns it actually, his wife Carol, who is younger by at least 15 years, works as a hair dresser for some beauty shop. They have two kids, a boy and a girl six and ten their names are Greyson and Ashley. 

What did they have that Jared didn't?

He isn't sure how he’s going to get to Colorado without Jared noticing. But then the perfect opportunity comes up.

Jared comes home one day from his internship and bounces on his feet as he explains to Jensen that the Dr. wants Jared to come with her and the rest of the team to examine some remains that had been found a couple hours away. They would be working at the lab there so he would be gone for about two days.

Jensen smiled and kissed him and told he was proud and of course he should go. So he helped Jared pack, drove him to campus where he hitched a ride with the other interns and then set off himself. 

It didn't take long to locate Gerald, the town was relatively small. He found him in a two story home, flowers lining the walk way and a sedan outback parked in the driveway. He drove around the corner and waited till night fell. Its almost seven when a truck pulls up in the driveway and Jensen wants to snort. Jared said his dad drove around the family van when he lived with them.

It looks like someone was trying to alter a more manly personality. And he understood why.

Gerald Padalecki was a tall man, a skinny man, with brown thinning hair, round glasses and a button up shirt and tie. If that didn't help enough he wore oxfords. 

Jensen raised a brow in amusement as the man walked into his house only to be rushed by his young kids and Jensen felt anger take over him. This man shouldn't be allowed to feel this much happiness, he shouldn't get a second chance, he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve to live. 

He had studied Jared's dad enough to know the man had a sweet tooth, Jared's sessions helped, so he watched as the clock hit midnight and the man made his way downstairs and flicked on the kitchen light and began to dig around in the pantry.

As quietly as he could Jensen pulled his mask over his head and popped his trunk and grabbed the rope he had picked up earlier on the road before running across the dimly lit street. 

He pulled out his lock picking kit and then paused and glanced beneath him and cocked his head as he spotted a small rock sitting in the window seal and he rolled his eyes and flipped it over. How typical. 

He carefully turned the key in the lock and snuck in and slid his shoes along the floor as he crept up on the unknowing man. 

He wound the rope tight around his hands and lifted it up high in the air, bit his lip and quickly wrapped it around the mans throat causing him to struggle and gasp for air as his hands reached up to grab Jensen.

Jensen drug the man along till they made it to the back porch where a hook was hanging from the ceiling and a swing was sitting, waiting to be put up. Jensen chuckles as he ties the rope tight around the mans neck and throws him down to the ground before tying a knot to the hook. 

“You know none of this would be happening if you weren't such a piece of shit.”

Gerald's eyes bugged and he kicked and flailed about “who--who are you?”

Jensen chuckles to himself as he grabs the end of the rope “you don't recognize me? We spoke on the phone.”

He watches as the mans eyes work, as they blink and look him over like hes trying to put the voice to a face but then...then his eyes widen “your...your Jared's boyfriend.”

“Bingo,” Jensen laughs and begins to hoist the man up “you know I met Jared in therapy,” he waves his hand around and makes a face “I know being his therapist its unethical blah blah blah. And he started telling me all about you and I gotta admit it would be much more satisfying for me to juts slit your throat and call it a day, to make you suffer. But on the other hand this would make Jared feel a whole lot better than just thinking his father was murdered you see...” Jensen reaches in his pocket and pulls out a carefully crafted suicide note. “This way your sorry ass gets to apologize, gets to right all the wrongs you did. Honestly you don't really deserve it but I would do anything for Jared.”

Jensen shrugs his shoulders and smirks toothily “plus its a damn good letter if you ask me, could move a man to tears. Might not be believable but hey dying brings everyone together.”

Tears leak from the mans eyes as his face begins to turn red and he tries to shake his head, his words coming out soft and hoarse “please...please don't do this I have a family my kids they need me! I wanted to be here for Jared I did but he didn’t want me.”

A snarl rips from Jensen's throat and he grips the rope so tight his knuckles turn white “your right you did...should have thought about that Gerald. Jared was your son and you threw him away like trash, why would he want a sorry sack of shit like you” with that he gives one last tug and sends the man sprawling to the ceiling and watches with joy as his eyes bug out, his face bulges and the air leaves his body as he convulses in the air.

He sighs to himself in content and wipes the rope down of his finger prints and takes off his jacket and lifts Gerald's hands and drags them along the thread before dropping the lifeless body. He flings the note on the ground and thinks about spitting on the man but decides against it. Just seeing him on the news will be enough. Oh how he wishes he could tell Jared the good news. 

By the time Jared gets back home Jensen has been there for a day. He is washed fresh and clean and has burned the clothes that he wore to Jared’s dads place. When Jared walks in he has the news flipped on and stands with a false face of grief which causes the bright smile on Jared’s face to fall rather quickly. 

“Whats wrong?”

Jensen clears his throat and works up his emotions “I have some bad news baby...um on the news this morning there was a 911 call from a woman named Madison she lives in Colorado and she found her husband hanging from the ceiling.”

Jared blinks in shock “That's awful I cant...did you say Madison?”

Jensen licks his lips “the man was Gerald Padalecki.”

Jared gasps, the sound like glass shattering on hard wood floor. His hand comes up to cover his mouth and he looks over Jensen's shoulder at the TV and watches as a reporter stands outside his dads home and repeats everything Jensen just said.

Jensen shifts on his feet and braces himself. He is ready for the tears, for the inevitable breakdown maybe even no eating. He watches as Jared slowly lowers his hand, his eyes wide and unblinking and he gears himself up to be the supportive boyfriend “baby I know this is--”

Jared shakes his head and sucks in his cheek as he watches the TV a moment longer before narrowing his eyes and walking across the room to turn it off. Jensen watches from behind as Jared takes a deep breath and turns “I’m fine. Years ago I would have had a melt down and probably done something drastic but the truth is...I don't know this man. He hasn’t been my father for a long time so why should I care now? I don't feel sorry for him and I don't feel sorry for his family. Does that make me bad?”

Jensen shakes his head and cups Jared’s cheeks in his hands “no baby it dosen’t. Your father hurt you, he broke your heart, he left you, you have every right to hate him. Its ok to not care.”

The boy takes a shaky breath and nods before leaning in and pressing his forehead to Jensen’s and the man watches as the boy composes himself before smiling “I missed you...I had a great time though.”

Jensen grins and tangles his fingers in Jared's long hair and tugs “and I want you to tell me all about it...after I show you how much I missed you.”


	11. You and Me Makes Two

Jared’s mom calls the next day. 

Shes in shock, and shes confused. When they were together Gerald never seemed suicidal then she tells Jared that young slut must have drove him to it, or maybe the guilt finally caught up with him.

Jared shrugs as he sits on the couch and nervously bites his nails. He tells her he found out yesterday when he came home but he isn't upset about it, how can you be upset about the death of someone you don't know?

She tells him Madison contacted her and asked if they would be attending the funeral Sharon wouldn't and neither would Jeff. Jared bit his lip and turned to look at Jensen uncertainty before saying he would be attending the receiving of friends and that's it. He needs the closure. 

So that Thursday night Jared dresses up in his nice khaki pants and a button up shirt and watches from the bed as Jensen slips on a nice suit and he shakes his head “I changed my mind we shouldn't go.”

Jensen slips his hands down his blazer and gives him a look “if you don't want to we don't have to. But don't you want some closure?”

Jared sighs “I don't know...” he stands and paces in their bedroom before stopping “I don't wanna go. I’m going to go in there and be in a room of strangers who don't know who I am. His kids are gonna there crying and I...I’m going to be there watching and not caring. I don't need closure. The man was a coward and he was pathetic that's all I need.”

Jared unbuttons his shirt and throws it across the room and looks back with fierce eyes “I have nothing to say to any of them. All I want to do tonight is be here with you...and have you make love to me.”

Jensen grins wide his teeth gleaming in the light and he quickly tugs his jacket off and lets it drop to the floor as he strides across the room and wiggles his brows as he grabs Jared by the waist and tugs him in and presses their lips together “your wish is my command.”

He undresses them in a hurry and lays Jared down on the bed and climbs over him and presses wet kisses down his throat and rubs his bottom lip along his soft skin before peering down at him fondly “I love you Jay.”

Jared bites his lip as he smiles, his eyes shining up at Jensen as he lifts a hand and combs his fingers through Jensen's hair “I love you to Jen, always.”

“No matter what?”

“No matter what.”

Jensen slams their lips together and opens his mouth and dives his tongue into Jared's hot wet mouth and trails his hands down Jared’s ribs making the boy squirm against the soft touch.

He slides his lip down Jared's body and pushes his thigh up and carefully nips at his soft skin and Jared gasps and hitches his hips up as Jensen smirks and sucks a dark spot on the tan skin. He digs his nails in and yanks Jared down on the sheets and flips him over onto his stomach and pushes him up and lays himself down on Jared's back as he reaches down and prepares Jared slowly, and gently.

He presses his open mouth to Jared's cheek and pants harshly “you ready?”

Jared clutches at the sheets and bucks up and tries to grind his ass back against Jensen “please please Jensen...”

Jensen's lip twists up in a smirk and he lays his head down on the back of Jared's sweaty spine and watches as he slowly feeds the head of his cock into Jared's hole and groans as it swallows it right up.

He rocks forward and grips Jared's shoulder tight as he moves and pushes all the way in and clenches his eyes shut tight as Jared moans and lets his body sag forward.

He slams his hand down on the rumpled sheets as he hitches his hips forward, sweat gathering over his body in a sheen layer as he plasters himself to Jared's soft skin and drags his mouth along Jared's neck and licks the water there and presses his nose into Jared's hair and inhales his coconut shampoo.

He moves one hand down and grips Jared's hip tight and digs his nails in as he picks up speed, a throaty groan leaving his throat as Jared clenches around him and looks over his shoulder, his eyes blown wide and his lips bruised and pink “I’m...please Jensen I need it harder, please just give it to me.”

Jensen bites his lip hard and wraps his arm around the front of Jared's chest and lifts him up and twists his hips making Jared cry out in surprise at the new angle, his head flopping back on Jensen's shoulder, his mouth hanging open with bliss as something rushes through his belly, his eyes blurring as he cries out in pleasure and falls forward as he cums against his belly.

“Fuck yeah baby that's it, such a good boy, such a good fucking boy love you so much baby--” Jensen babbles endlessly as he picks up speed and feels something stir in his belly as Jared whimpers and whines as Jensen keeps thrusting in his sensitive hole.

Jared reaches a hand back and runs his hand down Jensen's clenched up thigh, his hips stutter and he thrusts one more time before he cums deeply inside Jared making the boy moan softly as he finally collapses on the bed, tired and sated.

They end up staying in bed the rest of the day wrapped up in each others embrace, worshiping one another's bodies. By the time they finally stumble out of bed night has fallen and their stomachs are growling. Putting clothes on seems impossible right now so Jensen slowly makes his way to the kitchen and orders Chinese over the phone and watches with lidded eyes as Jared stumbles his way to the bathroom, limping as he goes.

They have about an hour before their food arrives so Jensen creeps his way into the bathroom when he hears the shower turn on and watches through the foggy glass as Jared dives under the water, his hair smoothing down and his eyes closed. 

He watches the water fall over Jared’s body like crystals and finds himself heavily relaxed at the sight. Quietly he opens the door and climbs inside and wraps his arms around Jared's lithe waist and smiles as he jumps and turns “God you scared the shit out of me.”

“Who else were you expecting?”

Jared smiles and rolls his eyes as he presses his wet body against Jensen’s and rubs his nose along Jensen’s jaw line “no one but you.”

Jensen sighs and presses his cheek to Jared’s head “do you feel bad about missing the funeral?”

Jared pulls back and sucks his cheeks in as he thinks and shakes his head “I thought I would but I don't, I cant. I cant feel sorry for someone I don't know, someone who left me. And I cant feel sorry for Madison because she took him from me. But I do feel sorry for his kids, their to young.”

“They’ll be fine. Its better that their young they will be able to adapt better, it wont bother them as much.”

Jensen cocks his head as he watches Jared frown and lower his eyes and bite his lip “whats wrong?”

Jared closes his eyes and lets out a heavy breath “so many times I’ve wished something bad would happen to him and it did. I know he’s my dad and I should at least mourn the good time I had with him but...I’m happy he’s dead. I mean I feel nothing for him...at least he knew how I felt in that moment.”

Jensen kisses Jared’s wet forehead and fights back a smirk as he thinks about Jared’s joy at his fathers death. He hadn't expected it to go this well but hey he wasn't complaining not when he could have Jared all to himself.

Actually its quite perfect really. The friends are out of the way and so is his absent father. No one else is there to cause him problems, nothing could go wrong.

Everything was perfect.


	12. So It Begins

It happens when he least expects it. His been careful about feeding into his desires around Jared, tries to wait until the boy is deep asleep before he slips out of bed and takes his aggression's out. 

So it went like it usually did. It had been a long day Jared hadn't gotten home till late, staying at the museum and then coming home to finish writing a paper that was due the next day so when night fell he collapsed on the bed and was out like a light.

Jensen waited till midnight rolled around and crept out of the house and made quick work. When he slipped back inside an hour later he was wiping sweat off his face and carefully disposing his shirt when he flipped the light on and spotted Jared sitting on the couch with his arms crossed.

“Where have you been?”

An overwhelming feeling of panic hits him and he almost doubles over with the need to hurl. He clears his throat “I was taking a walk.”

Jared narrows his eyes “really? In the middle of the night? I know you’ve been leaving Jensen are you...is there someone else?”

Jensen's eyes widen and he shakes his head rapidly. God how could Jared ever think that? “No baby of course not! I love you, only you.”

Jared closes his eyes and takes a breath and his stance instantly relaxes “then where do you go Jensen?”

He dosen't know what to say. He feels something well up in his throat and the need to choke hits him, sweat gathers on his forehead and the tells of lying are written all over him and he hopes Jared cant see them.

“Baby I--”

Suddenly Jared’s eyes widen in alarm and his mouth drops open as he zeroes in on Jensen's neck and takes a step back “why do you have blood on you?”

Like lightning Jensen snaps his hand over his neck and wipes quickly, right there on his palm is dark red blood. He looks up, panicked “Jared--”

“And your shirt...you were changing your shirt...” Jared shakes his head and backs away and bumps into the wall as he stares at Jensen like he has no idea who he is and Jensen feels something strike his chest.

“Jared listen to me ok? Whatever your thinking its not true.”

Jared lets out a watery laugh “I’ve seen movies Jensen! Whenever anyone says that it usually means it is! Where have you been going?”

Jensen thins his lips and says nothing in return and instead stands there in silence just watching as Jared's eyes fill with tears and he stomps his foot in frustration “tell me!”

The man dosen't respond and Jared's patience grows thin he whirls around and looks around the apartment with wild eyes. If Jensen wont tell him he’ll figure it out himself. He takes off in a hurry and runs into Jensen study and starts throwing things around and turning things over. He jerks the desk drawers open and empties them on the ground but sees nothing. So he stomps to the bedroom, Jensen hot on his tail and runs down the hall and slams the door shut and locks it.

He backs away as Jensen pounds on the door, yelling at him to stop and tells him he’s acting crazy but he ignores him and looks around with curious eyes. He knows his answer is in this room but where?

His eyes flick to the dresser but he knows Jensen would be more clever than that. He checks under the mattress and sees nothing. He pauses suddenly and looks down at the floor and cocks his head. 

Jensen is the smartest person he knows if he had something to hide it would be in a spot that Jared would never think of.

He looks back down at the mattress and gets down on his knees and lifts it up and looks at the floor. The wood looks splintered, like its been pulled back and replaced. He throws the mattress over on the floor and starts pulling at the wood.

He can still hear Jensen screaming outside and is surprised their neighbors haven't called the cops. He clenches his teeth as he yanks at the floor and cusses as he cuts his finger in the process. He’s just about the give up when finally the wood gives and he pulls it up and feels his heart stop.

Lying hidden underneath the floor is a black bag, an open black bag with needles and drugs and tools stuffed inside. He falls back on the floor and stares at the bag as the bedroom door cracks and Jensen busts through it.

The man is panting heavily, his chest rising and there's sweat dripping from his forehead as he looks down at Jared and steels his face “Jared...”

The boy turns with betrayed eyes “you...its you isn't it? Everything that's been happening its been because of you.”

“I don't know what your talking about.”

Jared scoffs and scrambles off the floor “don't lie to me!” he points to the floor “that's the same drugs they found in Danneels system...you killed her. I don't know how though, how did you know about her? And Gen did you do that to? Who else Jensen?”

Jensen eye twitches and his nose snarls up as Jared yells at him so he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath “you don't know what your talking about Jared your acting unstable maybe you should lay down.”

Jared's body starts shaking with rage and he throws the piece of wood he’s still holding across the room, his face turning red as he yells “stop it! This isn't about me! This is you! Your a liar I trusted you, I put my life in your hands and so did countless others and what? You just killed them?”

“No. I didn't touch them.”

Jared shakes his head as frustrated tears stream down his cheeks “Stop lying to me Jensen,” he cries.

“I’m not. I didn't touch them,” suddenly something dark spreads over Jensen body and Jared watches as the pupils in his eyes blow and the black fades over the green “I didn't have to. You see Jared the best part about my job is that the people I work with are so far gone that no one would even blink if something like suicide happened to them. Because at the end of the day you see these people have problems and their lives would be much better off if they simply didn't exist. Now your dad was another story.”

Jared’s body turns cold at Jensen’s words and he stares at him with terror filled eyes as something icy hits him “you killed my dad?”

Jensen scoffs “your dad he wasn't a dad he was a pathetic piece of shit that didn’t deserve to live. I did you a favor Jared. He was hurting you baby and I couldn't let that keep happening. I did it for you.”

Jared blinks as he stares at Jensen. He dosen't know this man. This man in front of him is cruel and ruthless and uncaring. He isn't the loving man he thought he knew. No this man has evil in his eyes.

His bottom lip trembles and he steps away from Jensen “who are you?”

Jensen scoffs and holds his arms out “isn't this what you wanted baby? You wanted the truth? Well you fucking got it!”

Jared flinches and lets out a dry sob “I don't know you...” he tip toes carefully around the room and bolts out the door his feet moving quickly as he hears Jensen behind him and tears whip off his cheeks as he slams into the front door, swipes his keys and jerks it open. 

“Jared!”

Jared sobs in panic as he runs down the stairs, his steps picking up as he hears Jensen growing closer. When he makes it outside the cold air slaps him in the face as he runs to his car, looking over his shoulder as Jensen makes it outside, fear and panic clear on his face.

Jared quickly unlocks his car and slams the lock in place as he tries to insert the key in the ignition just as Jensen slams into his car door “baby open the door, Jared open the door!”

Jared shakes his head and cries as he finally starts the car and shoves it into drive and takes off quickly into the night leaving Jensen standing in the road, panting and in disbelief.

He tugs at his hair and lets out a rage filled scream into the darkness.


	13. Back In

It had been a week since he had laid eyes on Jared's sweet face and he was slowly losing his mind. 

His called him numerous times, left voice mails, and sent texts and hasn't heard anything hell he isn't even sure where he is. He knows he isn't at Chad’s or Sandy's...he checked.

His knee is shaking, jumping up and down like a Pogo stick as he sits in his chair and stares at the wall where a picture of him and Jared hang. He scrubs his hands through his sweaty hair and lets out a deep breath as he jumps up and begins to pace the living room. 

What if he went to the cops? What if he dosen't come back? No,no he needs to come back, he has to come back. Jensen shakes his head and licks at his lips and cracks his neck.

He’ll come back...but what if he dosen't? What if he found someone else? What if he left South Carolina? God the police could be on their way right now.

Jensen's eyes widen and he rushes to the bed room and slams his foot against the bed post and shoves it aside and yanks the floorboard up and grabs his supplies and stuffs it in a bag.

He should put it somewhere safe. But where? He bites at his nails and taps his foot on the ground as he thinks. He cant toss it he needs it but he cant leave it here, he already made that mistake once. 

“Fuck!” he growls and closes his eyes and tries to breathe.

Where to put it.

His office? Yes for now his office.

He stalks down the hall and grabs his keys off the shelf and races down the stairs to his car and throws the bag in the back and drives the 10 minutes to his office. Its dark when he gets there and there's no one in sight so he grabs the bag and sneaks inside the office and locks his door.

His eyes scan the space and zero in on his desk. He throws himself in his chair and opens up the bottom cabinet and stuffs the bag in and reaches in his pocket for his keys and locks it.

Once its locked and safe he lays his head back and closes his eyes. Safe its safe,no one will find it here. 

He scrubs at his face and shakes his head, his eyes narrowing as he spots a picture of him and Jared on his desk, his hand twitching with anger. They took that picture on their second date. Jensen's eye twitches he said he would always love him,no matter what.

He lashes out and hurls the photo across the room and watches it shatter against the wall and lay in pieces over the photo. What a bunch of bullshit.

He should have known better than to let himself feel this deeply, he knew it would end badly, love is beneath him but Jared...that fucking kid eased himself in and then what? He just left him? He had no right,no right to fuck with Jensen like that.

This isn't how it was supposed to be.

Jensen clenches his keys tight in his hand and feels the sharp edges dig into his skin, blood dripping from his palm as he holds on tight. He slams his hand down on the desk and stands and makes his way over to the couch and grabs the blanket off the back. He isn't going home tonight.

He wakes the next morning to his secretary knocking on his door, her head peeking inside with a worried face “Mr. Ackles did you sleep here?”

Jensen blinks as he sits up on the couch and rubs at his eyes and looks around “Uh yeah I was...I had some work to get done. Its ok Amy.”

She nods “um your first appointment is in 30 minutes.”

“Shit,” Jensen looks down at himself and stands “Ok uh just stall ok? I have a spare outfit here so just let me get ready.”

Amy nods and closes the door and Jensen rushes to get ready. He dosen't even know who his first appointment is this morning. He splashes his face with cold water and swishes some mouth wash around and scrubs his hands through hair and tumbles into his clean clothes.

He hears a knock on his door, he checks himself in the mirror one more time and goes to open the door and welcome his client inside and freezes.

Jared is standing in the doorway, his hand twining together nervously, his hair messy, his eyes bloodshot and an unsure look on his face. He cant speak, to shocked to even see Jared standing in front of him. He was prepared to never see the boy again.

Jared bites his lip and looks down at his feet “can I come in?”

Jensen gulps and stands aside and Jared tip toes in as Jensen shuts the door. Jared crosses his arms and slowly turns to look at him, his eyes tired “I don't understand what I found the other night...you--I mean you tricked me. You lied to me, you hurt the people I love and I don't even know what I’m doing here right now. When I left the other night my first thought was to go to the police but I didn't...and I don't know why.”

Jared wipes at his face as tears slip down his cheeks and he lets out a shaky breath and Jensen feels his heart clench at the sight. He wants to step forward and take Jared into his arms and hold him tight but he isn't sure he’s allowed.

Jared sniffs, his bottom lip trembling as he looks at Jensen “I need you to tell me why...I need to know why.”

Jensen looks away “because I can...its been this way forever Jared I cant really tell you why. My parents weren't around much growing up and I found a hobby.”

“Killing people?”

Jensen looks up “manipulating people. You see Jared I didn't touch them, I didn't make them do anything they weren't already thinking about. Well except for the last three. Your dad I did that for you. He hurt you Jared and you let him. Over and over and I knew you weren't going to do anything about it. So I did.”

Jared shakes his head and rubs his face till its red “how could you be someone so different?”

“That's life Jared.”

Jared lets out a soft scoff and closes his eyes tight “I still love you...when I left I wanted to come back, I wanted to come home.”

Jensen moves forward when his opening arises and carefully holds his hands out “you can baby you can come home. You know I would never hurt you Jared I couldn't.”

Jared stares at him, his resolve trembling and crumbling before Jensen's eyes and he knows he has him hooked as his stance breaks and he throws himself in Jensen's arms and cries in his neck.

He wont let him go this time.


	14. Endless Run

When they get home Jensen gently leads Jared into the apartment and Jared looks around skeptically, like he’s scoping the place out, trying to find something, anything to give him a reason to bolt. 

He sits down carefully, his hands folded in his lap and watches Jensen stand in front of him, his arms crossed and he stares at Jared with an unsure gaze.

This is unfamiliar territory. If anyone had found out his secret he would have them dead and buried in a second and now he’s standing here with a shaking boy who likes he’s about ready to piss his pants.

Jared could tell the cops, hell maybe he already did and he was here biding time. He should take precautions and just end it now, he would make it quick he wouldn't dare cause Jared any unnecessary pain. But then Jared looked up at him, with wide innocent eyes that had tears filled in them and stood and he watched, unmoving as the boy took unsure steps till he stopped in front of Jensen.

Jared let out a shaky breath, his bottom lip wobbling as their eyes met and then in a bolt lanky around wrap around his neck and Jared's throwing himself in Jensen's arms and crying.

The tears hitting his neck don't bother him as he wraps his arms tight around Jared's waist and holds the boy close, pressing desperate kisses anywhere he can reach. He lifts Jared slightly off the ground and carries him back over to the couch and falls back with the boy in his lap.

Jared pushes back in his arms, tears streaming down his stained cheeks and starts pressing wet lips to Jensen's face and mumbles as he does it “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry I was scared Jen I was so scared and then...I’m sorry.”

Jensen shakes his head and shushes him softly as he rocks the boy “don't be sorry baby don't be sorry its not your fault I should have told you--”

Jared lets out a sob “how? You couldn't have Jensen I get it I mean you...I don't get it. What you do I don't get it but I know you’ve helped me despite all this and I know you love me and you would never hurt me. Right?”

Jensen reaches up and cups Jared's cheeks, his grip tight on his jaw as he gives him a fierce look “I would never hurt you Jared, never. I would rather die than cause you pain. Your all I’ve been able to think about. I didn't think you would come back.”

The boy sniffs and looks down “I wasn't going to. When I left I was never coming back. I was going home to my mama, I was going to call the cops and tell them it was you, it was all you and I even picked up the phone and started dialing the number but I couldn't do it. I just kept thinking about you and the first time we met, the first time you told me you loved me and it was all I could think about. I wanted to come back right then but I didn't think you would want me...I thought you wold kill me.”

Jensen winces and feels something hit his heart and he lifts Jared forward and holds him close “never Jared.”

He stands and Jared gently flops down on the couch as Jensen turns and looks at him. His nose was pink, and the skin around his eyes red and blotchy. Jared tips his head and looks up, his face turning blush as Jensen stares down at him with an intense look and he smiles. Jared’s eyes are bluer when he cries, almost like the ocean after a storm. 

He holds out his hand and Jared looks down at the cracked skin and back up at him before gulping and taking it, allowing Jensen to lift him up and lead them to their wrecked bedroom.

Jared looks around with wide eyes at the destruction and then over to Jensen who rubs the back of his neck “I didn't have time to fix it...I can tomorrow.”

Jared gives him a soft smile and tugs him over to the bed and keeps their eyes locked as he slowly peels his clothes off layer by layer. Jensen watches with burning eyes as Jared slides back on the bed and lays back, his body trembling and his eyes nervous.

Jensen smiles softly and tugs his jacket off and jerks his clothes off and steps forward till his knees bang on the bed rail and he looks down at the boy and lifts his hand and trails a finger down Jared's belly.

Jared gasps and shivers at the touch, his eyes shining with need as Jensen climbs over him and presses their naked bodies together making his eyes slip closed at the feeling of the older mans warm skin.

Jared gulps and slides his hands up Jensen's strong arms till they get to his shoulders and he holds on tight and licks his lips and gives Jensen a shaky smile and threads his fingers in Jensen's hair and tugs him down till their lips lock and he arches his body up and wraps his legs around the mans waist.

Jensen groans as their lips touch and he hikes Jared's thigh up higher and digs his blunt nails into the boys tan skin and jerks him closer making Jared cry out as he thrusts his body up higher and attacks Jared's mouth with rough, sloppy kisses. Jared lifts his hips up as their lips part and drags his bottom lip along Jensen's chin and pants heavily.

He lets out heavy breaths and whines as he rakes his nails down Jensen's arm and wraps the other behind his neck and presses his spit covered lips to Jensen’s ear “please...make me yours.”

Jensen growls and pulls back and grabs Jared by the hips and pulls him down the bed till their in the center and then reaches over to the bed side table and rambles around for the bottle of lube they keep. When he finds it he lathers his fingers and opens the boy up quickly but sufficiently till Jared's moaning and then lathers himself up.

He presses the tip to Jared's hole and looks up at him and almost cums right there at seeing the desire in the boys eyes Jared licks his lips and nods quickly and Jensen shoves in making them both cry out.

Jensen makes a face and presses his head down to Jared's shoulder as he gently pulls out and pushes back in, his hand gliding down Jared’s body, mapping over every mole and every soft hair.

He pulls back and looks down at Jared’s blissed out face. The boy has his eyes closed tight, his mouth hanging open and his brows furrowed and sweet moans flowing from his lips. When he opens them his eyes are shining and he lifts up and licks at Jensen's lip till the man opens up and he slips his tongue inside and moans as Jensen kisses him dirty.

He smooths his hand down Jensen's sweaty back and glides over the bumpy ridge of Jensen’s ass and squeezes the skin tight in his hand and digs his knees into Jensen's ribs and rolls his hips. Jensen pulls back with a loud smack and pants into Jared's open mouth, his teeth cutting over his lip.

“Come on baby cum on my cock, missed you, missed you so much Jay--”

He licks up Jared's neck and the boy moans and tips his head back as Jensen slips his hand down his torso and squeezes his cock “be a good boy and cum for me like I want you to.”

“Oh God Jen...its to much Jen! Its to much!”

Jensen shakes his head and lifts up and watches Jared's mouth drop open and his eyes blown wide as he stares at Jensen “let it go baby I’m not letting you go till you blow in my hand Jared.”

Jared makes a face and bites his lip hard as he arches up into the rough touch, his body shaking like a volcano as he cums into Jensen's hand making the man groan at the side and quicken his thrust to get his own release which comes quickly as he pours deep inside Jared.

Jared lets out a tired sigh as Jensen rolls off and he sluggishly turns on his side and watches Jensen pant and stare up at the ceiling and he lifts his hand and glides it through the mans sweaty hair and Jensen closes his eyes.

He scoots closer and buries himself under Jensen's arm pit and kisses his wet neck “I love you Jensen and I always will. I don't care what you do, I don't care I just...just don't bring it home and don't get caught. I cant live without you.”

Jensen looks down and brushes Jared’s hair back and smiles at him and kisses his forehead “they cant catch what they don't know.”


End file.
